So, it's been mad busy from September to now. Work, birthdays, family get togethers, there's never a free weekend. People don't understand that while they're recovering, you're always a hamster on a wheel. Yet, they expect you to have the same amount of energy as them. It's tough to be around people who don't face the same daily struggles as you. You know, the one's who are home all day out of choice and who don't want kids yet so they can enjoy their lives or the retired one's who catch naps through the day only to point out how you always look tired and have excuses. It's fine if you want to live your own life, but expecting people who are in the difficult phase of their life to always be hunky dory and jump to your every whim, that's annoying.
I get tired of that too. That kind of energy from people who are not on your wave length drains you more than your long day at work at times. You want to be positive. You want to be happy. You don't want to miss out or be the person who has to be ugly or nasty and have that reputation of being "That person."
I tried to be kind to everyone for years, but sometimes, people just don't understand or only listen to respond and go on about how they were so energetic and did so much work when they had kids when they can't even remember what they ate for supper the day before. You really think you can remember how life was when you had little kids. If you forced yourself to go out and have fun even though you were sick or tired, you're stupid, not a hero. We also don't have evidence of that. I built the pyramids. I mean, I can't prove it, but I said I did. It doesn't make it true.
People need to stop pretending that when they were in certain phases of life, they did everything correctly. It not only makes you put more pressure on yourself and drain you completely, it makes you feel worthless. I for one, don't really believe people's BS because they say things to get their way.
Since it's December, we need to try and make 2020 a good year. A year of positive energy. A year where we can block out all the negativity and control our anger and rage that takes over us because some people just have verbal diarrhea.
Just know, it's always people who do the least that talk the most.
So let's get into the habit of rewiring our brains. Our minds. Let's find something positive in everyday. It's good to vent but it's even better to move on with a clear mind and positive thinking than to let that bad moment consume your mind to a point where you find yourself opening boxes of bad memories and linking every bad thing in your life to that moment. It's tough. Sometimes you just want to feel sad for all the bad you've been through. Sometimes you just wish you could rewind a moment and have your say. Sometimes it's just best you didn't say it.
So, now that the venting is out of the way, in my own encrypted way ofcourse, it's time to look at the moments that make you happy.
I for one was sick during a heatwave, so I was home. You think that's great. It sucked, because my workplace has air-cons and the one time I get sick is during the hottest part of the year. So today, I am grateful for the air-cons. I am grateful for the fact that I had time to put lipgloss on today. I never usually get time for make up in the mornings. I know I'm looking forward to lunch, because that's when me and some colleagues sit around and catch up on silly things. I also can't wait for clock out, so I can see my little baby who is now a feisty toddler with a personality of her own but a laugh so sweet, it can melt your heart.
BE POSITIVE
